


A Fire Slowly Burning

by Litia13



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Casual Sex, Child Abandonment, College Student Rey (Star Wars), Dirty Sex, Emotional Sex, Emotions, F/M, Forbidden Love, Friendship, Happy Ending, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Domestic Violence, No Pregnancy, Past Domestic Violence, Past Relationships, Professor Ben Solo, Secret Relationship, fairly vanilla sex, lots of fluff, nothing too crazy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-09
Updated: 2021-02-20
Packaged: 2021-03-13 00:00:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 18,438
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28644102
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Litia13/pseuds/Litia13
Summary: Rey Kenobi has a HUGE crush on her professor, Ben Solo. She can usually keep it unnoticed as long as she doesn’t speak to him directly, but he asks her to be his TA. Things spiral.Basically a forbidden, smut fest. There’s a small bit of plot, but I am honestly just trying my hand at writing one shots and smaller stories.
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey & Ben Solo, Rey & Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 24
Kudos: 45





	1. Chapter 1

_ “Oh, Ben, please. Please let me come.” Rey cried out as he thrust into her as a relentless pace. A wet, sloppy sound echoed through his office as he fucked her.  _

_ “You want to come?” Ben chokes out, his own breath restrained from their activities.  _

_ Rey whined out a “yes” as she gripped his shoulders in search of support. Her legs felt like jelly.  _

_ “Then come.”  _

_ When he uttered those words, pleasure soared through her body. Her toes curled and she bit down on his shoulder to avoid moaning too loud. Ben ran his hand through her hair, soothing her as she came down from her high.  _

Rey woke with a jolt. Disappointment showed on her face. It wasn’t real. It would NOT be real. Ever. He was her professor for star’s sake! Even worse, she had to be in his class in 45 minutes. She had to listen to his deep, dark voice echoing throughout the classroom, leaving her embarrassingly wet. 

With a grumble sounding from her mouth, she rolled out of bed and padded over to her bathroom. Her roommate, Rose Tico, was still asleep. Thank stars she hadn’t woken her up with her, not so innocent, dreams about her creative writing professor. 

After she got dressed and ready for the day, she nudged Rose awake.

“Rose?” Rey whispered. Rose was a cranky witch in the morning and she was NOT about to deal with that.

“Hm?” An incoherent mumble came from under her roommate’s comforter. 

“I am leaving for my class. I didn’t want you to oversleep.” Rose waved an arm to signify that she received the message, and to, please, leave her alone. Rey chuckled as she locked their apartment door to start her day.

~~~

“Alright class, as you all know, finals week is next week. Most classes would have a test compiling everything you’ve learned. Not this class. It’s a writing class for God’s sake, why would we take actual tests!” Professor Ben Solo ran his hand through his hair as he explained the final. 

Rey watched his every move while taking notes. The way his raven hair gleamed under the headache-inducing lights of the classroom. His huge, muscular frame moving with sensual grace as he paced the room. Rey’s green eyes met his chocolate brown ones and her face flushed. She quickly looked away, too intimidated by him to hold his gaze. 

“So, since our previous unit was focused on effectively writing romance and intimacy, I want a short story. A short story full of romance, conflict, resolution, the works. Don’t be afraid to write explicit scenes. It will be due next Friday. That means you have 14 days to write it.” The class groaned when he set the deadline.

“14 days? That isn’t a lot of time.” Poe muttered. Rey met Poe in her freshmen english class, and found that they had the same major. They often stuck together for projects and classes, seeing as they are both extremely intelligent. 

“What was that, Mr. Dameron?” Professor Solo’s deep, booming voice was sharp as was his glare. “Are you not capable of completing the assignment for reason other than your dense brain?” 

“No, no sir. I just, I. No that deadline is perfectly fine.” Poe shrunk back into his seat as his face flushed. Professor Solo was known for calling people out and being rough in students. And from Rey’s dirty mind, she secretly hoped that wasn’t the only thing he was rough with.

“Good.” Professor Solo sharply replied. “To continue on, hopefully without any rude interruptions,” he cast his eyes in a rueful glare to Poe, “there is no word limit, no chapter limit. All i want is to see romantic short story. If you have further questions, please email me. Class dismissed.”

As Rey and Poe packed up their things to leave, a voice piped up.

“Miss Kenobi, can i see you for a moment?” Rey turned around with wide eyes and managed a nod. 

“Hey, Poe. I’ll just meet you for lunch at the deli?” Rey confirmed. Poe nodded at her and left the classroom, shutting the door. Rey took a deep breath and walked over to the professor.

“What did you need, sir?” Her voice went about three pitches higher than normal, as it did when she was nervous or flustered. Her eyes were averted to avoid any awkward eye contact.

“As you know, you’re a graduate student. I am supposed to choose two TA’s to help me. I wanted to extend that offer to you. Would you be interested? You have shown exemplary skill in every assignment i’ve given.” Rey’s eyes widened as she took in the offer. Being a TA was a big deal, especially at her college because there were so many students. 

“Of course, you don’t have to answer right away. Just, let me know by this weekend. I’m going to give you my personal cell phone number because I rarely check my emails on weekends.” 

Rey was still processing his offer when he gave her a handout outlining the responsibilities of the TA position. She left the classroom with excitement in her step.

~~~~

Ben smacked his head as Rey left the classroom. 

Stupid, stupid, stupid. Why would he ask her to be his TA? Of course, she obviously deserves the position, but he couldn’t shake her.

Rey was...light. She was beautiful. Her light brown hair in the three bun style she always wears. The way her hips sway when she walks. When she smiled, sunshine and lightness bloomed in his heart. 

He was angry with himself. The worst thing he could do is allow himself to spend time with this beautiful girl. She was his student! Whatever he felt was definitely illegal, and something he had to suppress. He wasn’t sure how long he could restrain himself though.

~~~~

“Rose! Can you believe it?! This opportunity will be perfect to have on a resume.” Rey threw her hands into the air, explaining the excitement of the situation to her roommate.

“Yeah, and you can ogle at your hot professor.” Rose gives her a knowing look while she sips from her seltzer. 

Rose Tico was a short woman with a fiery personality. Some compare her to a chihuahua. She has jet black hair styled in a bob, and brown eyes, Her temper could scare hornets away. But Rose was the roommate Rey was assigned her freshman year, and they’d become best friends quickly. 

“That’s true, BUT that can obviously never happen! He is, like, 12 years older than me! And even once he’s not my professor, he will still be my superior because i’m his TA.” Rey dropped her head into her hands and groaned. 

“Girl, I was joking. You’ll be fine. With how attractive and smart he is, he probably has a deep, dark secret that you’ll find out about. That’ll turn you off from him.” Rose chuckled. 

Opening one eye, Rey peaked at her roommate. 

“Probably a tentacle kink” Rose gave her a side eye. 

As they made eye contact, they both burst out laughing.

Rey texted Professor Solo the next day, confirming that she would take the position of TA.

  
  
  
  



	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey finds a way to rid herself of her midterm submission and her sexual frustration. But she makes a serious mistake. How will she fix this?

After another night of wet dreams about her professor, Rey decided to start an outlet for her sexual frustration. She was supposed to write a romance short story right?

Rey sat up in bed, an idea forming in her brain. She grabbed her laptop and started writing.

“Oh, Ben, please. Please let me come.” Rey cried out as he thrust into her as a relentless pace. A wet, sloppy sound echoed through his office as he fucked her.

“You want to come?” Ben chokes out, his own breath restrained from their activities.

Rey whined out a “yes” as she gripped his shoulders in search of support. Her legs felt like jelly.

“Then come.”

When he uttered those words, pleasure soared through her body. Her toes curled and she bit down on his shoulder to avoid moaning too loud. Ben ran his hand through her hair, soothing her as she came down from her high. “

This was perfect. She’d write a hot, sensual story about her and Professor Solo. Then change the names. It would hopefully cure her of her crush on the professor and her final for the class. A smile glossed her face as she continued to type.

~~~

Ben received Rey’s text confirming her acceptance of the TA position. He internally groaned because he knew he would have to interact with her without bending her over his desk. But he wouldn’t let his thoughts or desires distract him from letting Rey flourish.

She was an international student from Britain. She was riding on her scholarship. He couldn’t jeopardize her scholarship and her career by fucking her. She wouldn’t even want him.

He looked around the bar he was at. He desperately needed a drink after he received the text from Rey.

He dropped his head to the table of the booth and squeezed his eyes shut. This was going to be tough.

~~~

By Tuesday, Rey had completed her short story. She copy and pasted the story to a separate document and started changing the names. Everytime she saw Rey, she’d change the name to Charlotte. Everytime she saw Ben, she’d change the name to William.

When she was finished, she read through it twice, and then three times. It would be insanely complicated if she sent the wrong document. Or if she left their names in.

Once she was satisfied with her work, she went to her school email and clicked “Compose.” She added a quick message explaining what she was sending. Then she inserted the document and clicked “send”.

Rey got up from her desk, stretched, and turned to her roommate.

“Hey, Rose! I just finished my final assignment for creative writing. Do you want to go get dinner and then camp out and study for our other finals?” She called. Rose had been studying all day, and Rey was sure she was starving. Sometimes when Rose got so focused, she forgot to eat. Rey liked to fix that problem.

“Uh yes! Totally, I’m starving actually.” Rose replied. She pulled her hair out of its ponytail and shook it out. “Just let me get some shoes and a jacket! Then we can go.”

She and Rose walked to the Thai restaurant right across from their apartment. They had the best fried rice Rey had ever tasted.

As they devoured their meal, Rose piped up.

“So Rey. How is that smut story you wrote about your professor coming along?” She asked with a smirk gracing her face. Rey had admitted her idea when Rose had bugged her enough. A blush rose up on Rey’s face as she finished chewing to answer.

“I actually already submitted it. And yes. I changed the names, so he’ll never know.” Rey shot back, narrowing her eyes at her roommate,

“Okay, just asking. I, personally, think it’d be super hot and funny if you sent the document with your name.” Rose said with a snort. When she saw the glare from Rey, she ducked her head to start inhaling her food.

“Anyways,” Rose started on a rant about her biochemistry class. Rey caught on to Rose’s quick subject change, and was eternally grateful for it. They talked about Rose’s evil professor until they finished their meal. After paying, the pair walked back to their apartment.

“Hey Rey. Would you mind calling out some of the vocabulary words I need to know for my test? I’m kind of freaking out here.” Rose called as Rey took off her coat.

“Totally! I’m gonna double check on my submission real quick though.” Rey said as she opened her school email website. She clicked on the email to Professor Solo. Her eyes widened as she looked at the document name.

“ **Final Draft (Copy)”**

Her breathe caught as she clicked on the document she sent.

“No, no, no.” Rey chanted as she waited for the document to load. As it slowly loaded and showed her the contents, her heart began to race.

One word in particular jumped out.

 **Ben**.

Rey scrolled through the whole document and realized her fuck up.

She sent the wrong document. She sent her professor the romance short story with THEIR names. Not Charlotte. Not William. But Rey and Ben.

“Fuck!” Rey shouted as she began to compose another email. She had to find a way to get this email back.

“What is it?” Rose peaked her head into Rey’s room. Rey didn’t answer, but clicked “Compose” to try and fix her mess.

**From: Rey Kenobi**  
**To: Ben Solo**  
**RE: Final Submission**

“Professor Solo, please disregard the previous email. I accidentally sent the wrong document for the final submission. Please don’t even click on the document actually. That would be best. Thank you,  
Rey Kenobi”

She clicked ‘Send’ and took a deep breath. Rose’s head took residence on Rey’s shoulder as she read the email.

“What document did you send by accident?” Rose laughed. “Please tell me it was the one with the frog meme I shared with you last week.”

When Rey didn’t laugh with her, Rose stood up and made Rey stand up. She took both of her hands in her own.

“Rey, whats the problem?” Concern bloomed on Rose’s face as Rey shakily replied.

“I sent the document.”

“What document?”

“THE document.” Rey spit out. Rose’s eyebrows raised.

“Please tell me you don’t mean the document that I teased you about earlier.” Rose spoke slowly as she stared at Rey. The only response Rey gave was a slight nod.

“Oh my stars. Rey you’re fucked.” Rose breathed out. As Rey tried to find breath to reply, a ‘ding’ rang from her computer. They both went to inspect what the noise was.

“Oh my stars, he emailed me back. Fuck.” Rey said as she squeezed her eyes shut, trying to relieve the anxiety that had built up. She opened her eyes and read the email.

**From: Ben Solo**  
**To: Rey Kenobi**  
**RE: Final Submission**

“Dear Miss Kenobi, I must inform you that it might be too late to not read the document. I opened it before I received your second email. I request that we have a meeting tomorrow morning. Is 10 o’clock in my office all right for you?  
Sincerely,  
Professor Ben Solo”

Rey shook her head as thoughts raced through her head. She was going to lose her scholarship. She was going to be kicked out. She was going to have to return to Britain.

She had no family. She had no one except for a few friends like Rose and Poe. Tears welled up in her eyes, and she felt Rose embrace her.

“It’s going to be okay, Rey. We’ll work something out. I promise. You’re not leaving me this quickly.” Rose said with fake optimism.

In reality, Rey knew. She knew she was eternally fucked.

~~~

Ben had just finished his late breakfast that consisted of an omelette, an english muffin, and a glass of orange juice, when he decided to check his emails. It was a Tuesday afternoon, and he didn’t teach on Tuesday’s or Thursday’s. There really wasn’t a lot to do other than check emails and workout.

As he scrolled through the normal emails about staff meetings and reminders to submit grades by next Monday, a certain name popped out.

**From: Rey Kenobi**  
**To: Ben Solo**  
**RE: Final Submission**

Of course she’d submit her assignment four days early. That’s the kind of student she was. Always on top of her work. Punctuality and time management were things that Ben appreciated and valued. He sat down on his couch and pulled out his grading notebook to take notes on her story, though he was sure he would find barely anything wrong with her story.

Her writing always captivated him. The way the words flowed from paragraph to paragraph. She conveyed her main idea and theme so eloquently. Ben, in his 3 years of teaching, had never met such a beautiful writer.

He was talking about the words being beautiful, of course. Not the lady behind the stories. Definitely not.

He opened the document and started to read. His eyebrows drew together as he saw two words jump out.

**Ben and Rey**

“That’s odd.” Ben murmured. This is a romance story, why would their names be chosen as the main characters.

Heats blooms across his face as he continues to read the document. The story fades from small interactions to sensual movement and desire.

By the time he reached the middle of the story, he had dropped his notepad. He felt as though he shouldn’t read anymore, but he was captivated.

Why would a student write such a sensual piece using their names? And why was he enjoying it so much?

After he finished a rather sexual sentence, he realized he had gotten hard. Extremely hard. In fact, the strain against his jeans began to hurt. He unzipped his pants to try and find some relief.

“I’m NOT jerking off to my student’s story.” He chastised himself at the thought. As he continued to read, he got more and more hot and bothered he could barely contain the sharp breaths he was taking.

Before he knew it, his laptop had been abandoned on his couch and he was working himself to his high. As he jerked himself off to the sensual story, he imagined it was Rey’s small hands gripping his cock as he came over his own.

He groaned as he recovered from his orgasm. Deep breaths echoed from his mouth as he walked to the bathroom to clean himself off.

When he returned to his computer, he saw an email notification from Rey.

**From: Rey Kenobi**  
**To: Ben Solo**  
**RE: Final Submission**

“Professor Solo, please disregard the previous email. I accidentally sent the wrong document for the final submission. Please don’t even click on the document actually. That would be best. Thank you,  
Rey Kenobi”

Dread entered his bones as he read the email.

Had he just read secret smut she wrote? Was this her final assignment? It fit the prompt and theme he assigned, why wouldn’t it be? Either way, he had to settle this situation professionally. He emailed her back, requesting a meeting in his office the following morning.

How was he going to settle this? Her last email basically admitted that she wrote this. She wrote a story about her and him fucking. Rey was going to be his TA! How would this work? Will he need to retract his offer?

However he proceeded, he’d have to make sure she didn’t know how much this story fueled his desire for her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! This is chapter 2! I hope you enjoy it! I got so excited writing it because the true drama is about to start! Be sure to leave comments and kudos!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey and Ben meet to discuss her accidental submission. What will come of it? Disaster or Desire?

Rey paces across her room. A glance at the clock told her it was 9:30am. Her meeting with Professor Solo was in 30 minutes. She sat on her head and placed her head in her hands.

_ How will I ever face him? How will I fix this? How can I stay as his TA?  _

Her heart raced as she thought of what their ‘meeting’ might consist of. The head of the English department might even be there, ready to kick her out for inappropriate actions. If that happened, she wouldn’t know what to do. She had no one to turn to. 

She had no one. No one at all.

~~~

Ben ran his hand through his hair as he paced throughout his office. Rey would be here within 15 minutes. At some point in the night, he decided that he wouldn’t contact anyone about what Rey did. She didn’t deserve that. He would ask her why she did this, then would let her continue her education as though nothing happened.

But how could he look her in the face knowing what she thought of him? How could he stand before her knowing that he had jacked off to her story? 

There shouldn’t be any consequences because he acted as inappropriately as she had. 

A knock on his office door pulled him from his reverie. His voice shook as he answered the knock.

“Come in. It’s unlocked.” The door handle turned and Rey took a step into his office.

“Hi, Professor Solo.” Her voice was soft as she averted her eyes. She went to close the door, but stopped as Ben gestured for her stop.

“I think to maintain a level of professionalism, we should keep the door open.” Rey nodded and went to sit in the chair opposite of his desk. They both took a deep breath.

“I am so sor-“

“Miss Keno-“ 

They both cleared their throats as Rey gestured him to speak first.

“Alright, well. Miss Kenobi. You obviously know why you’re here.” A blush rose on her face as she met his eyes. “Now, I don’t want you to worry. You will not face any consequences.”

Confusion and relief flooded her eyes as she fidgeted with her bracelet. 

“I won’t? Why? I honestly deserve it. I- Well. Nevermind. I want to apologize. Basically, I had to figure out a way to get my midterm done and get rid of my sexual frustration towards you and I thought it was this great idea. I was just going to change the names, and then hopefully continue my life without you distracting me.” She rambled and spit the words out Ben almost didn’t comprehend what she said. But he did.

Sexual frustration? Did Rey feel the same desire he felt for her?

He sighed and looked at Rey’s worried expression. She continued when he didn’t reply.

“And if you don’t want me to be your TA next semester, that’s alright. I understand it might make you uncomfortable. I just wanted to apologize.” Rey took a breath and Ben could’ve sworn he saw tears glisten in her eyes. “What I emailed you was not professional or, in any way whatsoever, acceptable.” Her chest heaved and tears began to stream down her face.

“Rey, it’s okay. You don’t have to worry. Obviously, it is a bit odd, but nothing will happen from what you submitted. My TA position will remain yours, if you’d like it.” He surprised himself by reaching across his desk and grabbing her hand. Rey’s eyes shot to his as he rubbed her hand with his thumb.

“Are you sure?” Tears still ran down her face. “I just, I don’t have anyone. If I get kicked out or even lose my scholarship, I have no where to go. Nothing.” Her lip wavered at her confession.

Ben’s heart sank as he heard her speak. He knew she was a scholarship student, but he never realized she didn’t have anyone. At this revelation, he stood up and walked around to face Rey. He tilted her chin up with his hand.

“Rey, it’s alright. I would never take anything away from you.” As he spoke, he pulled her into a hug and stroked her hair as she cried. 

“Thank you. I just didn’t know what to expect. I have no clue what route you were going to take. You’re fairly rough on your students, so I didn’t know if you would be the same with me.” Rey’s voice strengthened as she chuckled, the tension disappearing from the room. He kissed her hair as she pulled away from the hug and awkwardly chuckled. “I actually do have a question for you.”

Ben’s eyebrows rose as he gestured for her to ask.

“How was my story?” Her eyes gleamed with amusement as she looked up at him. A small smile appeared on her lips. Ben let out a hum as he answered.

“Actually, it was very well written. Sparked lots of thought and....certain feelings.” He vaguely answered. Her smile grew as she pressed.

“What do you define as certain feelings?” The look in her eyes tested his restraint. 

“I don’t know if I’m permitted to say on a school campus.” His mind and body was in tune to her every breath. Rey turned around and shut his office door. She made eye contact with him as she locked it behind her. 

“Let’s go... off the record, then?” Lust glazed her eyes. A nod from Ben’s taught body made her chuckle.

“What?” Ben asked. His eyes looked around for what made her laugh. Her smile grew as she answered. 

“Well, we’re off the record, and I’d like to know what... feelings... my story inspired.” Each word was glazed with her seductive accent. Her eyes flickered to his crotch, and he realized he was hard. Insanely hard.

“What feelings, you ask?” He took a step closer to her. “You’re story made want to find you, take you back to my apartment, and fuck you senseless. I wanted to eat your pussy until you were shaking. To lick each and every part of your body. That’s what I was feeling.” Rey’s chest heaved as he spoke his mind.

“You did?” Rey’s voice was breathless and soft. Her voice just made his erection grow.

“Yes, and I can’t deny that these feelings haven’t disappeared. In fact, I believe that these thoughts have only grown stronger in your presence.” His voice was rugged and deep. Rey shuddered. 

~~~

Rey couldn’t believe was was happening. She expected to be kicked out of school, but now her professor was admitting his dirty thoughts about her openly to her. The whole interaction made her panties soaked. 

The look in Ben’s eyes gave her the confidence to do something that was most likely illegal. She grabbed his face with both hands and crushed her lips to his. A gasp escaped Ben’s mouth as he adjusted to her mouth.

His hand wrapped around her back as he deepened the kiss. A groan sounded from his lips. Rey felt his hand cup her face as they both melted into the kiss. 

After a moment, Ben pulled away. The look in his eyes was cautious.

“Are you sure? I don’t want to take advantage of you.” His voice was rough and deep. A laugh of disbelief escaped her mouth.

“I’m the one who kissed you.” Rey stated.

“Yes, I know that. I just didn’t want you to do something that you weren’t comfortable with.” Ben responded. Rey’s heart soared as she thought about his statement. He was so kind and considerate, and the thought just made her more wet. 

Instead of answering, she just kissed him again. She moaned as he tapped her thighs, signaling to wrap them around his hips. When she did what he asked, he turned them around and pressed her into the wall. 

He broke the kiss and started trailing kisses down her neck, leaving marks as he traveled. Ben got on his knees and looked up at her. Rey gasped as he brought his hands around her ass.

“Can I take these off?” He asked, gesturing to her leggings. All Rey could manage was a nod. As he pulled the leggings down her thighs, his lips caressed her bare skin. A shudder ran down her back as his lips met flesh. She could feel his smirk as he kissed down her leg.

Once she stepped out of the leggings, Ben looked up at Rey. At that moment, she had never seen something so beautiful. He smiled meekly as his fingers trailed closer and closer to her pussy. She took a sharp breath when his fingers lightly grazed her panties. 

“You’re very wet, dear. Is this for me?” Ben asked as he leaned in closer to her throbbing heat. Rey nodded quickly, extracting a small laugh from Ben. The light expression was soon replaced with a dark, sensual look in his eyes.

“Good. Because when we’re through, there won’t be any wetness left. I’ll have licked all of it up. I’m a very greedy man, you know.” This statement only increased the throbbing of Rey’s pussy. Her chest heaved as she anticipated his mouth on her. She let out a whine and Ben let out a bark of laughter.

“Would you like me to stop teasing you, darling?” He asked. 

“Please.” Rey begged. There wasn’t anymore apprehension in her voice. She needed him. She needed his mouth, his hands, his cock. Everywhere. Anywhere.

Before Rey could continue her thoughts, Ben had taken her underwear off and had his mouth on her. He lightly licked a stripe up her pussy, leaving light, feathery touches down her thighs that left her breathless. When his tongue reached her clit, his mouth closed around her bundle of nerves, and he began to suck.

Rey’s breathe was stolen from her lungs as she combed her hands through his raven hair. She had never felt this relaxed yet coiled before. The tension in her body was climbing to a high, and she felt like she was about to explode. 

As Ben sucked, he began to tease her entrance with a finger. His fingers were so much bigger than Rey’s; just one finger felt like three of hers. He sank one finger into her and immediately Rey let out a hearty moan.

“Oh, stars. Ben, just like that! Please, oh. That feels. So good.” Rey blabbered and whined as Ben fingered and sucked her pussy. She knew her orgasm was coming any second. 

As Ben sucked a particularly sensitive spot on her, Rey’s hands flew through his hair, trying to find any hold on reality. She panted and whined as her high hit her. 

Pleasure rolled through her in waves. Her knees buckled, but Ben had stood and caught her before she fell. He held her through her orgasm, and she rested her head on his shoulder. 

“How do you feel?” His breath was hot in her ear as she sighed.

“Wonderful? Amazing? Perfect? All three actually.” Rey replied softly. Her strength was returning as she recovered from her intense orgasm. An idea crossed her mind and she tried to kneel to reciprocate, but Ben stopped her.

“No, not this time. I want to make sure i’m not taking advantage of you. As much as I want you to suck and gag on my cock, that’ll have to wait.” Ben said. He stood her back up and whispered in her ear.

“I want to fuck you first.” Rey smiled and nodded as he kissed her again. She tasted herself on his lips, but that only turned her on more. They both let out moans as Ben picked her up and sat her on his desk. 

He began to unbutton her shirt as she fiddled with his belt. Once he got the buttons undone, his hands were all over her. Pinching and tweaking her already sensitive nipples. His head ducked and he began to suck marks on her tits.

“These are fucking beautiful, you know that? You have the most gorgeous fucking tits I’ve ever seen. And don’t even get me started on your body.” Ben murmured as he kissed her neck, breasts, and shoulders. Rey grabbed his hair and brought his face back to hers and kissed him roughly. 

“Thank you for the compliments, but I really just want you to fuck me now.” Rey breathed into his mouth. Ben’s pupils dilated as he took his belt off and discarded his pants. Rey’s eyes became distracted by the prominent bulge in his boxers.

Her hands automatically went to his waist and she tugged the boxers down. Her eyes widened as she took in Ben’s impressive size. 

“Wow.” Rey commented, giving Ben a sly smile. She wrapped her hands around his cock and pumped him a few times. Ben’s eyes fluttered shut as he let out a load groan.

When his eyes opened, he stepped closer to the desk and grabbed Rey’s hips. Her hips were flesh with his. His cock was pulsing with need as was her pussy. But, of course, her cautious self poked through.

“What if someone hears?” Rey asks worriedly. Ben kissed her forehead.

“They won’t. Class isn’t for another 15 minutes darling. No one is ever up here.”

Shit. Rey forgot she had class after this. Oh well. Ben’s head snapped to hers as he pulled away.

”What is it?” Rey asked. Did she do something wrong?

“Condom. Fuck, I almost forgot a condom! One second.” Ben rifled through his desk drawers and pulled out a shiny foil packet. He tears open the package with his teeth and rolls the small plastic onto his thick length. 

“Okay, well we only have 15 minutes, so we might want to get to the fucking.” Rey snarkily replied. Ben’s eyebrows rose and he gripped her jaw.

“If that’s what you want.” He says, a serious tone entering his voice. “I’m serious. I want this. I want you so, so badly. But do you want me?” Rey couldn’t believe he was asking her this.

“Do you think I would write dirty sex scenes about us if I didn’t want to fuck you?” Rey asked. That seemed to be answer enough for Ben because he positioned himself at her entrance and slowly sank into her. Rey gripped his shoulders for support.

“Does that feel okay? Does it hurt?” Ben asked. It turned Rey on so much that he was being considerate, but she wasn’t in the mood for it.

“It feels fine. I want it to hurt.” Rey said with a gleam in her eye. Ben looked her in the eye and began to thrust into her. Rey let out an embarrassingly load moan, and Ben just thrust faster.

“You like that? I can feel you clenching around my cock, Rey. Gods, it feels so good. You feel my cock throbbing inside you? That’s how bad I want you, Rey. That’s how insane you make me.” Ben filled her ears with dirty statements as his thrusts got faster and less consistent.

The same familiar high was building in Rey one again. She knew Ben was going to come soon as well. She could tell from the beads of sweat on his forehead, from the way his eyes clenched shut as he focused on pounding into her pussy. 

“Gods, Ben. I’m about to-“ Rey started. 

“I know. Me too.” Ben grunted. After a few more sloppy thrusts, Ben and Rey’s high hit them. Their foreheads rested on each other’s as they breathed the same air, their chests heaving. 

They stayed there for a few minutes until Ben opened his eyes. He smiled at Rey and ran a hand down her back.

“How are you? You feel okay?” Ben asked. Rey didn’t verbally answer, only nodding her head and nuzzling into his neck. “Good. Because class starts in 5 minutes.”

Rey’s head shot up as she started to panic. Even though her legs were sore, she started collecting her clothes off of his office floor. Ben watched her frantic movement and cocked his head.

“What’s wrong, Rey?” Ben asked, placing a hand around her arm.

“What’s wrong? I just fucked my professor, and I have to be in his class in five minutes! I look freshly fucked, and if we both walk in at the same time, rumors will start.” Rey’s head pounded as she thought of what could happen. “You could lose your job! You could lose everything. I could lose everything!” 

“Darling, it’s okay. Calm down. Everything will be fine.” He helped her get dressed as he explained. “How about we walk in separately, you go in first, so no attention is drawn to you? I’ll come in a few minutes late and say my cat was running around causing a ruckus. Okay?” Rey nodded her head. Her panic was lessening at Ben’s soothing words. 

She got dressed and fixed her hair in a small mirror she kept in her purse. She turned to face Ben, one more question roaming in her head.

“Was this a one time thing?” Rey blurted. Ben’s eyes widened and he asked.

“Do you want it to be?” Anticipation filled his eyes.

“No.” Rey replied without hesitation. Relief flooded his gaze, and a smile grew on his face. 

“Well, then, Miss Kenobi. I’ll text you later. Maybe you could come to my apartment this weekend, and we could discuss exactly what this is?” Ben asked with a wide grin. 

“That’s sounds perfect. Well, I don’t want to be late for my next class, my professor wouldn’t be happy with me.” Rey says slyly. 

“No, he wouldn’t.” Ben shot back. He kissed her forehead before she opened the door of his office. She made eye contact one last time with him before leaving, and saw a look full of bliss on his face. 

Rey was thoroughly fucked. Sexually and mentally. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! This is my first attempt at writing smut! Let me know what you think! School does start again tomorrow, so the updating might be slower than what is has been! Don’t forget to leave kudos and comments!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey and Ben reflect on how they should proceed in their relationship. A point of conflict is introduced.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I wanted to tell you my update schedule. School just started back for me, so I don’t have time to write except on the weekends. I am going to post every Saturday or Sunday!
> 
> I also have decided this will have 10 chapters! It will most likely change, but that is my estimate!

A sharp pain shoots down Rey’s thighs as she sits at her dinner table. She massages her thigh to relieve the pain while her mind wanders back to what happened earlier that day. The way Ben fucked her hard. So hard. But he was also gentle and tender. A soft smile grows on Rey’s face, but she snaps back to the present when she hears Rose clear her throat.

“So, what’s got you so smiley? I’m assuming you didn't get kicked out of school?” Rose raises her eyebrows as she waits for Rey to answer. Rey’s smile falters as she contemplates what to say. After a few seconds, she takes a deep breath and answers as honestly as she can.

“No, I didn’t get kicked out. I didn't even lose my TA position. He was, weirdly, chill about it?” Rey averts her eyes, so Rose can’t tell that her answer was a lie by omission. “I don’t even know why he didn’t. It was just an abnormal experience, I guess.” 

“Well, that's a relief. Honestly, from what you've told me about Professor Solo, he seems pretty strict. I’m glad you're staying. You’re my best friend.” Rose sighs, a caring look in her eyes. 

Rey hates having to lie to her friends. She’d been lied to too many times, but this was different. Rey wasn’t the only one at risk. If anyone found out and decided to snitch, Ben would lose his job. She couldn't risk that happening. She could deal with her receiving consequences, but she would not allow Ben to suffer. She swore to herself that she would never drive anyone else or hurt anyone else. 

“Rey, are you okay? You look like your mind is somewhere else.” Rose comments. Concern flashes in her eyes, and Rey automatically feels guilty. 

“Yeah, I’m fine! I think I’m just tired. It has been a long, anxiety-inducing day.” Rey’s phone vibrated in her jean pocket. She had an idea of who it was. “I think I’m gonna go ahead and go to sleep. I’m really, really tired.” 

“Okay, well, I hope tomorrow is less stressful. At least tomorrow is Thursday!” Rose says cheerily, completely oblivious to Rey’s fib. Rey stands from her seat and places her plate in the dishwasher. 

“Same. And thank you. Rose, I really am so grateful for you. We should have a movie night this weekend.” Rose nods and continues to eat her dinner. Rey takes this as her cue to leave. She turns around and walks into her room. 

When she locks her door, she races to her bed and sits down. Her phone didn’t vibrate anymore after the initial sound. Rey pulls it out of her jean pocket and turns it on. 

**Hi, Rey. This is Ben. I honestly don’t want to disclose any personal information until I’m sure this is you. Would you mind just letting me know you got this?**

Rey read the text and immediately replied.

**Hey ben, this is, in fact, Rey.**

After no more than 45 seconds, her phone lit up, indicating another message. 

**Good. I just wanted to let you know that whatever this is, whether it be casual or serious, I really don’t want this to end. Unless you do, of course. All of this is on your terms.**

Her heart started beating faster as she read his declaration. A wide smile broke out on her face. Thoughts of danger raced across her mind. She disregarded this as she typed her reply.

**I don’t want it to end either.**

After she sent her reply, she waited for a reply. The three typing bubbles popped up, then disappeared, then appeared, then disappeared again. After three rounds of bubbles, she threw her phone onto her bed and paced around her room. A ding sounded and she flew back to her phone, clutching it as though it were a precious diamond. 

**Would you be interested in coming to my apartment for dinner to discuss what this is? Or we could go to lunch, if that makes you more comfortable? If anyone saw us, we could just say we are getting to know each other since you are my TA.**

Rey almost squealed when she read the text. Excitement and anticipation echoed through her chest. But there was an inkling of her that protested this idea. She wasn’t even thinking about Ben’s situation. Doubt flooded her mind and she replied.

**I would love that, but what of your position? If anything happened to you because of this, I would never forgive myself.**

She worried at her lip while she waited, rather impatiently for an answer. After a few minutes of no reply, she decided to change her clothes and get into bed. By the time that she had gotten into bed, a reply was found.

**Darling, don’t worry about me. And that’s what this dinner is about. To discuss what we are and how to proceed.**

When she read that text, Rey decided to take the leap.

**Okay, dinner sounds perfect.**

As she sent the message, her phone dinged.

**Also, sorry about the late reply, my cat jumped onto the counter and knocked a plate over.**

Rey could’ve sworn her heart outgrew her body when she read that text. As she imagined Ben cleaning his kitchen with a cat running around, she smiled. 

**Dinner at 6:00pm?**

She immediately nodded her head as though he could see her. Scoffing at herself, she typed yes and asked for his address. 

After their conversation was over, Rey flopped onto her bed with a dreamy expression painted onto her face. It might as well have been in permanent ink because Rey doubted it wouldn’t wash off quickly.

~~~

Ben paces across his living room. His cat, Ren, at his heels letting out small meows. 

“Ren, I’m trying to think here! Could you be quiet?” Ben snapped. His statement only made Ren meow louder. “Okay, okay.” 

Ben conceded and sat down on his couch. Ren hopped up next to him and curled around his lap. Ben smiled at Ren and began to pet him.

“What do I do, Ren? I already texted her and we’re going to have dinner, but I don’t know what to say? Do I tell her that we can’t be together, or do I choose the dangerous option?” Ben stared at the cat, waiting for his answer. Ren remained silent while staring at Ben.

“Well?!” Ben asked, frustration leaking out of his mouth. “Okay, meow if you think I shouldn’t continue this with Rey?” 

Ren remained silent. Ben waited for a few more seconds. 

“Okay, meow if you think I SHOULD continue this with Rey?” Ben asked, leaning in to hear Ren’s answer. 

Almost immediately, a loud meow sounded from Ren’s cute cat mouth. A small smile appeared on Ben’s face.

“Well, I guess we know the answer, then. Thanks, Ren.” Ben patted the cat on the head and got up from the couch. He made his way to the kitchen to plan his dinner with Rey, but a ding sounded from his computer. Ben groaned as he opened the email.

**From: Anthony Snoke**

**To: Ben Solo**

**RE: English Department Dinner**

Ben, you need to attend this dinner. I know you think avoiding these things is fun, but it is irresponsible. If you don’t attend, there will be consequences. 

Sincerely, 

Anthony Snoke

Ben’s eyes shot to the back of his head as his happy mood dissipated. His job was very important to him, but the social side of it was what he hated. Snoke had been his professor and mentor through college, and even now, Snoke feels the need to ‘motivate’ Ben to be the best. His motivation mainly just made Ben angry because it was advice that could be given to a child.

He typed a short apology that included a promise of his appearance at the dinner. 

God, Ben hated his job. 

~~~~

Rey walked down the aisle at Tagmart, looking for something to wear for her dinner with Ben. She had texted him and asked how fancy she needed to be. Ben said he didn’t care as long as she showed up.

As if she would stand him up, when she had been pining after him for a semester. 

Still, she wanted to look nice for Ben. To show she was trying, and that she cared. Her hand grazed the fabric of the dresses as she fretted. Cotton, chiffon, chenille, she didn't know what the difference was. As she debated between a blue sundress that billowed out from her waist and a black bodycon dress that enhanced her small curves, the dresses flew out of her hands as someone ran into her. 

“Oh sorry. I didn’t mean t-” 

“You.” Rey blurted. Her eyes scanned the person in front of her. Ryan, her ex-boyfriend, was standing before her. 

“Oh sweetheart, you know my name. Actually, you used to scream it for me every night.” A smirk graced his face. Rey felt the urge to slap it off. She furrowed her eyebrows as she glared at him.

Rey had met Ryan her first semester of college. He was nice, charming, and gave her attention. She had never received much of that, so she stuck to him like glue. He held her heart in his hands; he crushed it. The bastard had taken her virginity and her confidence. It took her years to regain it, but with one glance, it all crumbled. She averted her eyes as he chuckled.

“Just kidding, sweetheart.” A confident tone entered his voice. “What are you buying a dress for? You know dresses never really worked with your figure. You still haven't gained any weight.” As he scanned her, she turned inward. Emotional manipulation at its finest. With a shaky voice, Rey responded.

“We aren’t dating anymore, Ryan. You can’t tell me what to do anymore. And, for your information, I am going on a date tomorrow night.” She clenched her jaw as he clicked his tongue.

“Huh, she speaks full length sentences!” He exclaimed. Rey bristled at the condescending tone that he was using. She rolled her eyes and turned around, determined to ignore him. He butted her shoulder with his own while he kept throwing derogatory remarks her way.

By the third misogynistic phrase, she harshly brushed his hand away from her. Turning around, she met his blue eyes. They were nothing compared to Ben’s chocolate brown eyes. In fact, they were complete opposites: Ben had dark hair and dark eyes, while Ryan had blond hair and light eyes. 

“Shut up. Leave me alone. When we broke up, I told you to never speak to me again. I still would like you to respect that.” Rey bit out, her jaw clenching to the point of pain. Ryan just crossed his arms and shrugged his shoulders.

“Okay, sweetheart. Nice seeing you.” He winked and strolled by, knocking over a stack of shirts. Rey huffed as he turned around and widened his eyes. “Rey, why would knock that over? Clearly, you don’t care about the employees.” 

Rey started to respond, but he had already walked away. A few workers nearby glared at her, and she bent down to fold the shirts he had knocked over. She hated him. 

To prove her power and worth, she bought the slimming black bodycon dress. Even if her ex-boyfriend basically harassed her, she wouldn’t let that distract her from the fact that she was going on a date with Ben Solo. A total leap from the scumbag that was Ryan. 

~~~

Tonight was the night. Rey’s heart felt as though it might jump out of her chest at any moment. She was in her car outside of Ben’s apartment complex. With one glance, she could already tell that he was wealthy. Every thought she had made her insecurities grow. 

She fluffed her hair one more time, took a deep breath, and got out of the car. The black bodycon dress stuck to her, enunciating her curves. On her phone, she had Ben’s apartment number showing. It would be so embarrassing if she knocked on the wrong door. 

A few minutes passed and Rey was standing outside of his door. Someone walked behind her, blond hair peeking out of the person’s hoodie. After they passed, she looked around to make sure no one could see her; her eyes closed as she took a deep breath. 

She knocked once. A few seconds passed and she raised her hand to knock again, but the door swung open. Ben was standing inside the door, looking so beautiful. 

He was wearing a black dress shirt with black dress pants. Rey could tell that this was probably the closest thing to a date outfit he had, and it made her smile. Even in just simple black clothes, he was stunning. His shaggy raven hair framed his face wonderfully. 

“You’re beautiful.” Rey blurted. Her eyes shut with embarrassment. “I’m sorry, I’m just nervous, so I’m just blurting random things to try and ease my nervousness. I don’t think it’s working.” Rey rambled on, moving her hands to expel her anxious energy. Ben placed a gentle hand on her forearm and smiled.

“It’s okay. I’ve been freaking out all day. You look beautiful, too. Nothing you could do would be embarrassing to me. Only attractive.” A meek glance met her eyes, and Rey melted. He was truly so sweet and genuine. She nodded her head.

“Well, thank you. And the same to you, you could never embarrass yourself to me.” Rey replied. Ben let go of her forearm and gestured towards her.

“Come on in. It’s a little chilly tonight. I also don’t want anyone seeing us.” Ben’s eye widened as he processed what he said. “Not that I don’t want people to see us, it’s just we’re in a weird situation. I don’t want anyone to get us in trouble, even though we are just having a small dinner.” Now it was Ben’s turn to ramble. She stepped into his apartment and turned around. Ben shut the front door. 

“Ben, I understand. I have been watching over my shoulder ever since we did what we did. I would be so scared if anything happened to you or your job.” Rey said, concern lacing her voice. She turned away from him to look at the inside of his apartment. 

His apartment looked expensive. He had beautiful furniture in his living room that easily cost the entirety of her monthly paycheck. That doesn’t even count the furniture in the other rooms. She felt Ben come up behind her. 

“It’s not much, but it’s comfortable.” Ben murmured, almost as if he was embarrassed of his apartment. Rey spun around and gave him a confused look.

“Ben, this is one of the most beautiful apartments. Like, it’s amazing!” Rey exclaimed. Ben gave her a confused glance, but shook his head as he smiled.

“Well, I’m glad you like it.” He gave a sheepish smile. “Are you ready to eat? Or would you rather wait a while?” 

“I’m actually really hungry, to be honest. Would you mind if we went ahead and ate?” Rey said, placing a hand over her stomach as it growled. Ben chuckled as he nodded.

“Okay, well right this way.” As Rey walked past him, he placed a hand on her lower back. Her heart started its rapid course once again. As she walked, she remembered something.

“Ben, don’t you have a cat?” Rey asked. Ben nodded. Excitement bloomed in her face.

“Can I see him?” Rey smiled as she asked. Ben chuckled and nodded.

“Yes, he’s in the bathroom. I didn’t trust him to leave the food alone. One second.” Ben walked down a hallway and a few moments later, he reappeared with a bundle of black fur in his arms. A loud meow echoed through the apartment.

Rey gasped and rushed over to Ben. The black cat was scrambling to get out of Ben’s arms. As Ben placed him on the ground, Rey knelt down and stroked him. 

“Oh my goodness, he is precious!” Rey exclaimed as she gushed over the cute animal. “What’s his name?” 

“Ren.” Ben answered. Rey smiled.

“That is such a good name for him.” She scratched him behind the ears and stood back up. Ben picked him up and gave Ren a few head pats. 

“Thank you. I’m going to put him back, if you don’t mind. He really loves jumping on the table and pawing at the food.” Ben said as he walked back down the hallway. 

“That’s fine.” Rey responded. Once Ben came back from the bathroom, he gestured for her to walk into the kitchen. 

As they walked into the kitchen, Rey was once again wonderstruck by how gorgeous his apartment was. It was her dream kitchen. 

The cabinets were painted forest green, and the countertops were marble. There were herbs growing in the windowsill above the sink. Rey scoffed and turned around.

“You didn’t tell me you had my dream kitchen! Oh my goodness, this is literally gorgeous. I’m having a small HGTV panic attack.” Ben let out a loud laugh as she gushed. 

“Well, I’ve always enjoyed cooking, so I put most of my effort into it. It makes it more natural, to me.” Ben explained. Rey turned her attention to the small table right outside of the kitchen.

There was a small table that had two chairs, obviously for her and Ben. It had a thin white lace tablecloth and a candle in the middle. Plates were sat on the table. Ben rushed over and lit the candle.

“Sorry, I meant to light it before you got here.” Ben tucked his hands in his pockets. Rey looked him in the eyes with water glazing her own.

“Ben, this is... this is so much. No one has ever put in this much effort for me before.” Rey swallowed a lump in her throat as she continued. “I just, I feel like I can’t reciprocate.” Ben leaned down, ever so slightly. Rey’s eyes fluttered shut as he kissed her forehead.

“Darling, I wanted to do this. I wanted to do this, not knowing if I’d receive anything back. I don’t want you to feel forced to give me anything back. Tonight, I want to lay out my intentions. The only way we make any decisions is by what you’re comfortable with.” Ben whispered into her hair, just loud enough for Rey to hear. She nodded her head and took a deep breath.

“Okay, well thank you, for everything you’ve done for this. It really means a lot to me.” Rey conceded. Ben smiled and pulled out her chair. She sat in the chair as the oven beeped.

“Oh, that’s the chicken.” Ben rushed to the oven, putting on floral oven mitts that made Rey giggle. For such a big guy, you’d think his masculinity would be too fragile to wear pink floral oven mitts.

Rey watched as he pulled the chicken out of the oven, feeling herself fall more every passing minute. A blissful smile grew on her face as she imagined where this could go. She shook her head as she imagined marriage. 

Ben placed the chicken in the middle of the table next to the candle.

“Well, this is it. I hope you like it. I wasn’t sure what you liked, but everyone likes chicken, right?” Ben asked. Rey smiled and began to pile the food on her plate.

He had made asparagus and mashed potatoes alongside the chicken. When Rey bit into the chicken, she almost let out a moan. Ben gave her a wide smile, happy that she was enjoying his food.

As they ate, they talked about small things. Like their favorite colors, green for Rey and lavender for Ben. She learned that he went to private school his whole life and hated it. They both cackled as she told him about public school and the crazy things that went on. 

Once they finished the main course, Ben brought out a homemade cherry cheesecake. Rey was astounded that he was able to cook such yummy foods. 

After they were completely full, Ben led her to his couch.

“Do you want to watch a movie, or something? I honestly just like being around you.” Ben admitted, fidgeting with his hands. Rey’s heart soared as she smiled.

“I don’t care. Whatever you want. I like being around you, too.” Rey replied. A serious look appeared in Ben’s eyes.

“Actually, we probably need to talk about what this is. Where to go from here.” Ben said. “You know what? I’m getting a wine bottle, we’ll probably need it.” Rey laughed as she agreed. 

He turned with two large wine glasses and a bottle of red in his hand. He poured them both a glass and sat facing her on the couch. 

“So,” Ben started, “honestly, I don’t want this to end. I really like you. like, a lot. Obviously, if you want to continue this, we don’t have to label it. I want you to set the terms, considering that, professionally, I’m your superior. I don’t want you to ever feel that I’m taking advantage of you.” 

Rey’s eyes watered again. No one had ever treated her with such care and genuine concern for her well-being. Obviously, she had friends who cared for her, but never a potential love interest. 

“Thank you for being so considerate,” Rey answers, wiping a tear from her cheek, “but I really don’t want to stop seeing you. From what happened Tuesday, to now, I’ve never doubted how much I care for you. My only problem is I don’t know if I can allow myself to risk your job. That’s my only concern.” 

Ben’s eyebrows creased in thought. 

“Let’s say this. We both want to see each other again, right?” Rey nodded as he continued. “So, if we wanted to see each other, you could strictly come to my apartment on the weekends.” Ben thought out loud. 

“That sounds great. Another thing, I don’t know if we should... you know....” Rey started, but stumbled on the words. God, she was 24, why is she nervous to say ‘sex?’ With a glance, Ben caught on quickly.

“Oh, that. Yeah, obviously, we can’t have sex at the school or in my office.” Ben blushed as he continued. “I honestly think we should wait until you are out of my class until we...do..that.” Rey nodded her head as she took a sip of her wine.

“Definitely, I think that’d be too morally and ethically wrong. But I’m going to be your TA next semester, what happens then?” Rey worriedly asks. Her mind was running at a million miles an hour. Ben gives her a look, asking if she’s okay. She nods and he responds.

“When you become my TA, it can offer a myriad of pros and cons. For pros, we can be seen together and play it off as professional meetings for grades. For cons, we would have to extra careful with you coming to my apartment in case someone sees. Having sex is up to you. I want to have sex with you, god, I do. But if that’s not what you want, or you’re not ready for that, I will wait as long as you need me to.” Ben reaches to her and grabs her hand, running his thumb over the back of it. “I just want you.” 

Rey’s heart stops. How did she get so lucky? She stares at their intertwined hands and smiles.

“I guess we just need to be careful, then.” Rey says, looking back up to meet his eyes. When she does, she finds a relieved, happy expression on his face. 

“Yeah, careful.” Ben murmured as he leans closer to her face, his stubble brushing her ear. A shiver spirals down her back as she leans even closer, their lips almost brushing. Rey slowly turns her eyes upward to Ben and sees him staring at her lips. She, in turn, studies his face.

He has a few beauty marks on his cheeks, and Rey loved them. She brings her hand up to his cheek to caress the smooth, ivory skin. He shivers at the touch. His eyes trail up her face, and their eyes finally meet. 

“Can I kiss you?” Ben whispered, his hot breath on her ear. Caution laced his eyes. Rey tightened her grip on his cheek.

“Please.” 

When she uttered the word, he brought their lips together. Rey could’ve sworn fireworks went off. His plump lips fit perfectly to hers. They merely met lips for a few moments, then Rey pulled him to her and kissed him greedily. 

Ben broke away to set their wine glasses on the coffee table. After the glasses were set away, Ben captured Rey in another mind shattering kiss. 

After who knows how long, they broke away. Their lips were swollen, and they struggled to catch their breath. Rey chuckled as she meekly looked up at him. Ben wore an expression of utter happiness and comfort.

Tonight wasn’t the night for sex. It was a night for sweet, soft words and touches. After a few more moments of staring at each other, the tension broke and they settled back down onto the couch.

“Do you want to watch a movie?” Ben asked, moving so that Rey’s shoulder sat under his arm. 

“That’s sounds perfect.” Rey said. She positioned herself so she was comfy. Ben was such a big, muscular guy that just his arm over her shoulders felt like a weighted blanket. 

As she snuggled closer to his chest, she felt herself falling farther than she ever thought possible.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really hope you enjoyed it! Make sure to leave comments and kudos!
> 
> Also! I have a twitter dedicated to Reylo and other fics!   
> Here’s the link: https://mobile.twitter.com/lydia67408080


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey and Ben navigate their relationship as Christmas approaches.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I gave an early update! I do have a few comments about my story.
> 
> #1: I had not calculated my timeline correctly, so I changed ‘midterm’ to ‘final’! Not a big change, just something small in my timeline!
> 
> #2: The chapter count has climbed to 11. Maybe 12. I have these things planned out and then I want to add. :)

It was Sunday morning. Approximately two days after her insanely amazing date with Ben. A permanent smile was fixed to Rey’s face, and Rose became suspicious.

“Rey, I don’t know what happened to you this weekend, but it must’ve been something good.” Rose commented as she shoveled oatmeal into her mouth at their dinner table. Rey sighed as she stirred her own oatmeal in slow circles. As she met Rose’s gaze, she realized she couldn’t keep her happiness a secret anymore. She set her oatmeal bowl down and straightened up.

“Actually, Rose, I need to tell you something.” Rey took a deep breath, praying that this was a good decision. “You know how I submitted that grossly inappropriate story to Professor Solo?” Rose nodded, signaling Rey to continue.

“Well, I might have lied when I said that nothing happened at our meeting.” Rey said slowly, meeting Rose’s eyes. Rose’s eyebrows furrowed as she began to put the pieces together.

“Oh my god! You two fucked!” Rose exclaimed. “Rey! You fucked your professor, didn’t you!” Rey meekly nodded, averting her eyes. A startled gasp with fake dramatization left Rose’s mouth. “And you didn’t immediately tell me?”

“Rose, trust me. I wanted to tell you. I really did, but Ben’s job could’ve been on the line. I wanted to talk to him about what happened before I blabbed.” Rey pleaded, knowing she had a good reason. The annoyance left Rose’s face as she smiled at Rey with careful consideration.

“Of course, Rey. I understand that. That’s actually adorable, that you care that much.” Rose shook her head at Rey. “Is that the reason you’re smiley? Or did something else happen?” Rey smiled even harder at that.

“Yeah, Rose. Something else did happen.” Rey recounted the events of Friday night to Rose. With every detail Rey added, more ‘oohs’ and ‘awws’ left Rose’s mouth. After every detail had been conveyed, Rey waited for Rose to give her final opinion. A few moments passed as she took in everything Rey had just confessed.

“Rey, that is fucking adorable. You literally banged your professor, and instead of offering you hush money, he literally cooked you dinner and cuddled with you. Oh my god. Where do you find these kinds of people?” Rose smiled as she shook her head with disbelief. 

“I know! I don’t know how I’m going to face him on Tuesday. I obviously can’t let anyone know that something happened between us, but how can I treat him normally in class?” Rey thought out loud. 

It was quite the predicament. She couldn't even think of Ben, or she would start smiling. What would happen when she sees him? How will she control her infatuation now that something has become of it?

“Girl, you’ve got it bad.” Rey laid her head on the dining table and nodded.

“I know, Rose. I know.”

~~~

After Rose left for work, Rey decided to text Ben. She sat on her couch and turned the television on as she crafted her message.

**hey, what’re you doing?**

Not even ten seconds later, her phone chimed, indicating a new message.

**Thinking about how much I enjoyed Friday evening.**

Rey smiled and bit her lip as she typed a bold response.

**Enough to see me again today?**

When she didn’t automatically receive a message back, her thoughts dragged her down into a spiral. What if he doesn’t like clingy? Luckily, Rey’s thought spiral was interrupted by the subject of it. 

**Yes. Please. Be at my place at 5:00?**

Rey punched her arm into the air in triumph. After a few more seconds of celebration, she replied.

**Yay! So excited to see you! <3**

**I’m excited to see you too, darling.**

Rey leapt off the couch as she read the message. She spun around and around with a gleeful laugh. No one had ever made her so giddy before. Well, no one ever treated her so well before, either. When Rey stopped spinning, she fell back onto the couch as she planned her outfit for the evening.

~~~~

Ben’s doorbell rang, and he basically ran to the door. He swung it open to see Rey standing outside. A smile grew on both of their faces. 

“Hi.” Ben breathed as he looked Rey up and down. She was wearing a pair of black leggings with a light green sweater that matched her eyes. 

“Hi.” Rey smiled as she took him in. He was fairly casual, with a black sweater paired to black joggers. His hair fell in waves around his face. “Can I come in? It’s really cold.” She rubbed her arms as she asked.

“Of course, my bad.” A guilty chuckle left his mouth as he let her in. The door shut, and Rey turned around quickly. Before Ben could ask what she was doing, he was being pulled into a kiss. He immediately responded by moving his lips in sync with hers. She pulled away with worried eyes.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t even ask.” Rey stammered out. Ben laughed as his hand wrapped around the back of her head, tangling in her hair. 

“You don’t have to ask with me, Rey. We feel the same.” His breath turned ragged as he pulled her back into the kiss. A soft sigh left Rey’s lips as he wrapped his other arm around her back; he wanted her as close as he could get her. 

Without breaking the kiss, they stumbled into his living room and fell onto the couch. The desperation of the kiss increased as Rey moved to sit in his lap. As Rey ground her hips into his, Ben could feel his erection growing. Rey tugged at his shirt.

“This needs to come off.” Ben quickly obeyed. They played an unspoken game, taking each other’s clothes off until Ben was left in his boxers and Rey was left in a lacy bra and underwear.

They separated and breathed each other’s air for a few moments, foreheads pressed together in an intimate position. 

“Ben, I don’t.” Rey stuttered as she tried to catch her breath. “Ben, I don’t want to seem like I’m using you for sex. I swear on the stars that I’m not, but you just make me so fucking horny everytime I see you.” Ben laughed as he gave her a dark look.

“Darling, you have no idea what I have been repressing these past months.” Rey met his eyes with a curious expression. She moved her hands to rest tangled in his hair.

“Why don’t you show me?” As she looked into his eyes, she swore his pupils dilated. A soft smile graced his beautiful, flushed face. She ground her hips into his with great pressure, and he let out a groan. He regained his composure. 

“Of course, Darling. But the things I want to do won’t be able to be accomplished on this couch.” As he spoke, he swung her into his arms and carried her to his bedroom. Rey’s heartbeat quickened as she realized she had never been in his room. 

When the short trip from the couch to his room was over, he tossed her onto the bed. She positioned herself upright as he crawled onto the bed. As he got closer to her, he pulled her back into his lap. Instead of kissing her lips, he attacked her neck.

Instinctively, Rey leaned her head back, baring her neck to the assault of his mouth. He sucked and soothed and kissed; Rey thought she was in heaven as she felt a small pressure begin to build in her abdomen. She carded her hands through his hair as she roughly ground her hips on his crotch. Without even focusing on his cock, she could feel how huge he was. 

When Ben finished kissing her neck, he pecked her on the lips and repositioned them. In a few seconds, Rey was laying on her back and Ben’s crotch was flush with hers. 

“Ben, please.” Rey whined, and he looked her in the eyes. 

“Patience, my dear. You’ll get all you want in just a little bit. But first, I need to get you relaxed because you have a bit of tension. You’re so small, you won’t be able to take my cock if you’re tense.” He slowly moved down her body, planting kisses on her breasts and stomach. One hand palmed her breasts, while the other held her hand. 

“Oh stars, Ben, that feels so good.” Rey breathed out as he kissed lower and lower. His lips brushed over the aching area that Rey wished he would touch. His hands moved from her breasts and hands to spread her thighs. 

“Rey, you’re fucking soaked. Do I really make you this wet?” Ben asked as he stared at her white lace panties that she was sure were transparent by how wet she was. She nodded.

“Use your words, Rey. When I’m eating you out, I can’t see your face. I need to know how you feel, so I can stop if you need.” He picked his head up from between her thighs and gave her a serious look. “Really, Rey. I don’t want to get caught up in your lovely body and miss you telling me to stop.” 

Any other time, Rey would’ve loved his consensual speech. She loved that he cared so much, but she didn't think she could hold on much longer without his mouth on her.

“Yes, you make me so wet, Ben. I love your consent talk, but I need you to eat me out or I’ll go insane.” Rey snapped. Ben smiled as he returned his head to between her thighs. 

“Of course.” He hooked a finger underneath her underwear and slowly pulled it down her creamy thighs. He left soft kisses down her legs as her underwear was being, too slowly, removed. 

Once her underwear was removed, Ben blew a cool breath onto the most sensitive part of her pussy. Rey sucked in a harsh breath as he continued. After a few more teasing breaths, Ben threw any hesitation out the window and licked her pussy with an intensity that made Rey let out a deep, loud moan.

“Stars, Ben. That feels so go-” Rey’s sentence was cut off by a load groan as Ben sucked harshly on her clit. 

Ben didn’t hesitate. He licked and sucked every inch of her pussy. He didn’t experiment; he  _ knew _ what to do. For some reason, he knew each and every spot that made Rey shake and shout. Rey wondered if he knew her body better than she did. 

After a few more minutes of Ben’s vicious tongue, Rey needed more. She whined and ran her hands through his hair as she muttered out a plea.

“Fuck me with your fingers, Ben.” At her sentence, Ben looked up at her and grinned.

“What’s the magic word?” He tauntingly asked. Rey threw her head back in frustration as she whined out a ‘please.’ 

After she responded, she felt a large finger prod at her entrance. Ben slid his finger into her and Rey sighed. He pumped his finger in and out of her at a rapid pace, while his thumb brushed over her clit. Each passing second, Rey could feel the familiar pressure building in her stomach. 

“Ben, I’m about t-” Rey’s legs shook as he increased the pressure and speed of his thrusts. 

“I know, darling. Come for me. Come on my fingers. Please.” Ben breathed harshly as though this was just as pleasurable for him as it was for her. 

He crooked his fingers, and they hit just the right spot to send Rey into a frenzy as her orgasm crashed through her. Her legs shook as she let out a moan. Ben didn’t take his mouth off of her until her orgasm had completely left her. 

When she felt boneless, Ben crawled above her and kissed her. Rey tasted herself on his lips, and she thought she might come again just from the eroticism of it all. She opened her eyes and smiled. Ben removed his fingers from her overstimulated pussy and brought them to her mouth. 

“Open, darling. I want you to see how delectable you are.” Ben’s fingers sat on Rey’s lips as she opened her mouth. He slid the wet fingers in and Rey closed her mouth as she sucked. They maintained eye contact until she had sucked all of the wetness from his fingers. 

“Well? How do you taste?” Ben asked as he removed his fingers. Rey blushed as she responded. 

“Amazing.” She smiled. “But, I’d like to know how you taste.” The smile on Ben’s face grew.

“And you genuinely want to do that? It’s not because you feel like you have to, right? Because I’m not letting you do something you don’t want to do.” Ben cocked his head to the side as he clarified.

“No, Ben, I want to. I want to suck you off. One, because I want to taste your come shooting down my throat. And two, I know it makes you feel good, and that makes me feel good.” Rey replied, almost whining. He was too cautious sometimes. 

“Okay. Then please,” Ben leaned back on his heels, exposing his bulging erection, “suck me off.” 

Rey smiled as she moved to face him. She motioned for him to lean against the headboard, and when he complied, she placed her hands on his abdomen. Her hands trailed down his muscles and reached the band of his boxers. She knew Ben was watching her as she pulled the boxers down, exposing his cock.

Rey’s eyes widened as she studied it. It was a strained red, with a bead of precum leaking out of the small slit. Her tongue darted out to lick the bead up. She made eye contact with Ben as she spit into her hand and slowly pumped his cock. His hips involuntarily snapped up to create more friction. 

She pumped him a few more times, then lowered her mouth to the head of his cock. Part of her worried if she could even take his whole cock. Her plump lips wrapped around the head and she slowly took the rest of him inch by inch. Every few moments, she released his cock with a pop of her lips. 

Ben was letting out insanely filthy moans along with strings of curses. It made Rey smile and feel validated that she could make someone feel so good. She also liked how he gave her control; she never had a lot of that her whole life. 

A few more minutes passed of her sucking Ben’s cock, and his thrusts became more frantic and frenzied. 

“Rey, I’m about to come, so if you don’t want it in your mouth, then.” Ben’s sentence cut off as he groaned. When he groaned, Rey felt a warm liquid shoot down her throat, but she didn’t stop. She wanted to milk every ounce of come he could give her. 

A few more spurts of come flew from his cock, and Rey brought her mouth to Ben’s. She kissed him as the come seeped into his mouth. She wanted him to taste himself. When the come had been swallowed and dispersed between the two of them, they separated. 

“Rey, after that, I don’t think I can orgasm again. I think if I did, I’d go to the ER because that was insanely intense.” Ben breathed as they both started to laugh.

“Well, vice versa. I’m absolutely exhausted.” Rey laid her head in the crook between Ben’s neck and shoulder. His hands automatically went to her back as he cradled her.

“Will you stay tonight?” Ben whispered as she felt her eyes grow heavy. 

“Yes.” She muttered as she snuggled closer to his warm body.

“Thank you.” He left a soft kiss onto her hair. “But I want to make sure we’re clean before we fall asleep, is that okay?” Rey nodded. Ben sat up, still cradling Rey. He stood up and picked Rey up, hands under her knees and back. 

When they reached the bathroom, Ben sat Rey on the toilet and got a towel. He kneeled in front of her and wiped the come from between her legs. Rey smiled as she brushed through his hair. 

After they were both clean, they stumbled back into the bedroom and collapsed on the bed. They laid facing each other, post-orgasmic smiles on their faces. Ben reached to her face and brushed a stray hair away from her face. 

“Thanks.” Rey whispered. Ben smiled even wider and kissed her forehead. Rey, in turn, kissed the tip of his nose. They scooted closer and wrapped their arms around each other. 

After a few blissful moments, they were both asleep.

~~~~

Ben watched as students filtered into his classroom. He barely paid attention to them; he was looking for a certain student. 

Rey.

He probably shouldn’t be looking for her, but he couldn’t help it. Every waking (and dreaming) moment, he thought of her. He thought of her bright smile, the way his heart soared when he was the reason she smiled. She had two different laughs: one that was faked and one that was real. Her real laugh was the reason Ben’s heart beat. It tinkled and echoed like bells. Even the way she styled her hair in three buns descending down her scalp made him smile until his face hurt. Her name definitely represented her: a ray of light in his darkness. 

A voice interrupted his daydreaming. A voice he knew. Rey.

She walked in wearing a pair of baggy jeans with a grey crew neck, sporting her usual hairstyle. Ben’s breath left his lungs. Her eyes met his, and she gave him a small smile. To anyone else, it just seemed like a smile to greet anyone, but he knew that smile held so much more. After a few more seconds of staring, Ben snapped his eyes to his desk. He couldn’t let anyone catch on. For his sake and Rey’s.

~~~

When Rey walked into her creative writing class, her eyes automatically found Ben. Only to find his own had already found her. She gave him a small smile and sat down in her usual front row seat. 

“Hey, Rey!” When she turned around, she was met with Poe’s friendly face. 

“Hey! What’s up?” She asked. Poe brushed a hand through his hair as he responded.

“I was going to ask how you think you did on the final assignment. It was actually a lot more difficult than you’d think! I guess I’m just so used to having lots of guidelines.” As Poe rambled about the midterm, Rey could only make small remarks. Her mind drifted back to her final.

She had only turned in the assignment that sparked her and Ben’s office sex. Her eyebrows furrowed as she thought about her grades. Now that her and Ben were involved, would he give her biased grades? After a few moments of her thought spiral, she decided she would ask Ben about it after class.

As Ben started talking, Rey snapped her head forward and readied herself for the class. 

“So class. The final grades should be going in this evening. I meant to enter the grades this weekend, but I had a situation.” When Ben said this, his eyes glazed over Rey’s as she blushed, knowing that  _ she _ was the situation. Ben continued.

“If you are not happy with your grade, then you are allowed to come to my office hours, or you can schedule a meeting time with me.” Rey wondered what her grade would be. She always received high grades on her assignments, but this midterm was definitely different. As Ben discussed the grading and answered questions, her mind wandered once again.

Was she actually a good writer? Since Ben was attracted to her, was he biased in his grading? If he was, was Rey even qualified to get a job? 

Her thoughts spiraled while she worried at her lip. She was brought to the present when she heard her name.

“Miss Kenobi?” Her head snapped up to see Ben looking expectantly at her. “You looked like you had a question.” Rey’s face flushed as she responded.

“No, no I didn’t.” She spat out, a little dumbfounded that Ben would call her out in class. 

“Okay, just checking. You tend to ask lots of questions regarding assignments.” He gave her a look of pure care and consideration. Rey might’ve melted if they were alone. 

“Oh okay. Well, thank you.” She responded and shrunk back into her seat. Ben turned his attention back to the rest of the class and cleared his throat.

“Alright, well if you don’t have any questions, this is the end of my course. Once the final grades go in, that’s it. You can kiss me goodbye.” Ben said with a smirk while his eyes ran across the classroom, staying on Rey’s for a moment longer than the rest of the class. A small smile appeared on Rey’s face. “I wish you the best of luck with the rest of your education. You’re dismissed.” 

As the class began to filter out, Rey stayed behind and approached Ben’s desk. He was gathering his things when Rey checked to make sure the classroom was empty. After she was reassured that they were alone, she cleared her throat. Ben jumped, startled and Rey immediately apologized.

“Sorry! I didn’t mean to startle you!” Rey met his eyes. Ben’s startled expression softened as he took her in.

“It’s fine. I just thought everyone had already left. What do you need?” He asked, stepping closer to her. Rey swallowed as she thought of how to phrase the question. When Ben saw her hesitation, he scanned the classroom cautiously then grabbed her hand. “What’s wrong?” His voice was barely audible. At his gentle tone, Rey shot the question out before she could regret it.

“Are my grades biased?” Her eyes anxiously scanned his face as she looked for the truth. 

“What?” Ben asked in total disbelief. Rey automatically felt bad, and started to fidget with her jean pockets. 

“Like, are my grades completely unbiased? Because I know there is some attraction you’ve always felt for me, and I don’t want to be given good grades. I know you probably would never do that, but what if it’s subconsciously happening? Like, what if you don’t even know that you’re being biased because you hadn’t allowed yourself to think of me that way?” Rey rambled her anxious thoughts. Ben grabbed her other hand, and she met his eyes. 

“Rey, calm down. Take a deep breath.” After he was sure she was fine, he explained. “I have never graded with a bias. I know you might be suspicious because of your amazing grades, but you’re just that good. You deserve every grade I give you. I can show my rubric if you want to see it.” He talked softly as she reassured herself. 

“Okay, I just wanted to check. I would be really upset if I didn’t earn those grades. I mean, I’ve had to earn everything to get here, but I like to have grades that display my work ethic. Not just because I’m fucking the professor.” She smiled as she muttered the last part. Ben laughed at her remark.

“Well, you are correct. You have easily earned every good grade in this class.” He quickly kissed her forehead. His eyes widened, and he backed away from Rey. 

“Ben?” Rey asked, slowly turning her head to see what made him so scared. A blank hallway and classroom was the only thing she saw. “Ben, what’s wrong?” 

“I thought I saw something.” He shook his head. “It must’ve been the light or something.” He ran his hands through his hair.

“Oh god. That would be so bad.” Rey nervously laughed. “Let’s make a rule. No affection. No nothing anywhere on campus.” Ben nodded furiously, making Rey chuckle.

“Yeah, that would probably be best. I can’t afford to have a panic attack every time I’m on campus.” Ben remarked as the tension left his body. 

“Same here.” Silence filled the classroom for a few moments before Ben threw his hand up, remembering something.

“Rey! I almost forgot! What are you doing for Christmas?” Ben asked. Rey flushed as she answered.

“Well, my roommate is going home for Christmas, so I’ll probably just get take-out the night before. The places I like are always closed Christmas, and I learned that the hard way. God, I made some awful casserole one year, and I promise it made the whole apartment smell for weeks.” Rey tried covering up her obvious sad position with an anecdote, but Ben didn’t fall for it. Sadness overtook his face, and Rey automatically felt guilty for causing it. “It’s really not bad! I like to watch movies, and sometimes I’ll bake cookies.” 

“Rey, you shouldn’t have to spend Christmas alone.” Ben said. The fact that Ben sounded genuinely heartbroken made Rey’s own heart break.

“Anyways,” Rey quickly changed the subject,”I need to grab lunch before my next class, so I need to be go-” 

“Spend Christmas with me.” Ben blurted. Rey’s eyes watered at his statement. No one had ever wanted to spend Christmas with her. 

“You want to spend Christmas with me? Don’t you go see your family?” Rey asked.

“No, I haven’t talked to my family in years. It wasn’t my choice, though.” Ben murmured. If Rey’s heart hadn’t shattered before, it definitely did at his comment. Rey knew the feeling of being unwanted very well. Her mind went back to her days in the foster system, and she shivered. 

“Well, then Ben, I wouldn’t want to spend Christmas with anyone else.” Rey said, a wide grin appearing on her face. Surprise filled Ben’s face, as though he wasn’t her answer. 

“Really?” Excitement sang from his voice. 

“Of course!” Rey said, matching his excitement. At this, Ben wrapped his arms around her and held tight, not caring about who saw even though he should have. Rey could’ve sworn she felt wetness tainting her shoulder. 

_ Was Ben crying? Did Rey truly mean this much to him?  _

“Thank you, Rey.” Ben’s voice was barely audible as he whispered his thanks into her ear. Rey smiled and closed her eyes. 

When she closed her eyes, she missed the flash of blond hair and a phone that was recording running down the hallway. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed! Please leave kudos and comments
> 
> Also! I made a twitter dedicated to Reylo and fics!!  
> Here’s the link: https://mobile.twitter.com/lydia67408080


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey confesses her past to Ben, and they become closer than ever. 
> 
> The Christmas they spend together is one they will never forget.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, I am SO SO sorry that it has been a while since I’ve updated. School has me absolutely exhausted and insanely busy! This chapter was one of my favorites to write! 
> 
> Hopefully, I will finish chapter 7 and have it posted soon!

* * *

Rey leaned over to inspect a watch at the store in the mall. It had a leather band and a sparkling clock. With a crinkle of her nose, she decided it wasn’t good enough for Ben. 

Ever since he had asked her to spend Christmas with him, she had been freaking out about getting him the perfect gift. He had given her so much already; she wanted to make him happy. 

His gift had to be perfect.

So far, she was not finding the perfect gift. She had perused around probably twelve stores, and nothing caught her eye. But, from those twelve stores, she had found Rose multiple gifts. 

One was a floral handbag that Rose had been admiring the last time they went to the mall together. She had also bought Rose a silver necklace that had a charm of a small heart. A stop past Auntie Anne’s made her cave and buy a gift card, too. Her roommate couldn’t get enough of their cinnamon pretzel bites.

Rey felt her mind wandering, so she shook her head to focus.  _ Ben _ . This is who she was here for. An idea crossed her mind. Maybe his present didn’t need to be bought….

~~~~

Ben groaned in frustration as he paced through aisles of junk in the department store. Rey didn’t want any of this. She wanted something heartfelt; not anything money could buy. He ran his hand through his hair as he wracked his brain for ideas of what to get her. 

“Sir, do you need help?” A store associate placed her hand on his shoulder as she asked the question. Out of desperation, Ben decided a bit of help wouldn’t hurt.

“Yes, please. I just started dating this amazing girl, I mean you wouldn’t believe how amazing she is,” Ben trailed off as he noticed the employee tapping her foot.  _ Shit _ , he was rambling. He cleared his throat and continued. “Well, we’re spending Christmas together, and I want to show her that I love her before I tell her.” 

“That is adorable, oh my gosh.” The employee smiled and patted Ben again on his shoulder. “Well, lucky for you, I’m great at picking out gifts. What’s her name, if you don’t mind me asking?”

“Rey.” Ben smiled. “With an ‘e’, not an ‘a’.” Something that resembled recognition flashed in the employee’s eyes, and she gave him a small smile. 

“Well, my name is Rose.” Ben gave Rose his name as well, and she smiled. “You look like a Ben. Now, let’s find this lovely lady a gift.” She gestured for him to follow. Ben felt a weight lift off his chest as he followed the short lady.

~~~~

Rey stood outside of Ben’s apartment that evening; he had invited her over for dinner. She knocked on the door vigilantly, not wanting to stand in the freezing winter air for long. 

“Hey Rey, sorry I was taking the plates out of the cupboard when you knocked.” Ben said and let Rey step in; he followed her into the living room where she sat her bag down. They had hung out a lot, so any formality was out the window. Rey flopped on the couch and smiled up at him.

“It’s okay, I just like to see you.” Ben leaned down and kissed her. Rey ran her hands through his hair and tugged him closer. A soft groan left his mouth as he deepened the kiss. After a few moments of scrambling, Rey ended up on Ben’s lap, grinding harshly onto his crotch. 

_ Beep! Beep! Beep!  _

“Fuck.” Ben unwillingly pulled away as he placed Rey onto the couch. “That’s the pizza. I can’t let it go too long, it burns really quick.” As he speed walked into the kitchen, Rey trotted behind him. 

Once Ben had gotten the pizza out of the oven and cooling on the stove, he turned back to Rey. A wide smile broke on her face as she hugged him. Ben was a little startled, not expecting it. His arms tightened around her waist as her arms were slung around his shoulders. 

“Ben, you’re amazing.” Rey looked up at him. “Seriously, you have kind of been everything to me lately. And I feel like I never do anything in return for you.” 

“Rey, just being here and being you, that’s all I’ve ever wanted.” He kissed the top of her head as they swayed in the kitchen. 

“Are you sure?” Insecurity peaked through her voice, like the sun streaking through a curtained window. Ben pulled back slightly to look her in the eyes.

‘Yes.” He kissed her. “One.” He kissed her again. “Hundred.” Another kiss. “Percent.” And another. “Now let me feed you dinner.” Rey giggled as he kissed her again. 

As they ate dinner, they chatted about silly, stupid things with silly, stupid smiles on their faces. 

“Ben, this is so good!” Rey exclaimed, pointing her fork at him. “You always say you’re a terrible cook, but this is literally the best thing I’ve ever tasted.” Ben gave her a look of disbelief.

“Probably not the best. Your parents probably made you really good food.” Ben chuckled unknowingly as he ate another bite of the caesar salad. 

“Nope. I wouldn’t know.” Rey muttered as she shoveled food into her mouth, trying to divert from the topic at hand. Concern gripped Ben as he wracked his brain for the mistake he made. 

“Rey, what’s wrong?” He could sense the second she became upset. Her head lifted slightly, and he saw the water collect in her eyes. His hand laced into hers as he comforted her. 

“It’s kind of a sensitive subject. I don’t really like to talk about it.” She whispered as she gripped his hand as though it was the only thing keeping her tethered to the current reality. 

“You don’t have to tell me. In fact, you don’t have to tell me anything.” Ben reassured her. He definitely didn’t want to force her to unpack her trauma. They had only really been together for a month or so. 

“No, I,” She took a deep breath and swallowed any fear she was holding onto, “I need to tell you. I am very serious about us together. I can’t hide shit from you.” 

“Just don’t feel pressured. Because I’ll wait for you, Rey. I will always wait for you.” He tilted her head up with his hand as he said the statement. He wanted her to know how much he meant it. How much he  _ loved  _ her. 

She nodded, collected herself and told her story.

“I was born in this tiny town in England called Rye. My parents gave birth to me, brought me home. For two weeks.” Tears started to fill her eyes as she recounted the memory. “After that, I guess they got tired of me, so they dumped me outside of the orphanage twenty minutes away. I was raised in the orphanage until I was eight, then I was adopted.” Rey paused to wipe her running nose and teary eyes. 

“Rey, I’m so sorry. I had no idea. I wouldn’t have mentioned parents if I knew your story.” A wave of guilt crashed onto the shores of his soul. Rey held up a hand to signal she wasn’t done, and Ben quieted. It was her story to tell, and he would let her tell it.

“There’s a big stereotype about foster parents being evil, and that was proven to me. I was fostered by this man, Plutt. He had a few other foster kids as well as a few of his own. The favoritism was apparent; his “real” kids, as he would call them, got a bed and food everyday while the ‘fake’ ones wouldn’t. We were the ones to take care of the household. I mean, it was pathetic that anyone would entrust a child in his care.” Tears were freely falling down Rey’s face now. Ben wouldn’t comfort her, not yet. He knew she had more to tell; so he held her hand as she continued.

“And then, when I turned thirteen, the worst part started. I guess Plutt started seeing me as a ‘woman’ or something.” Rey’s eyes turned cold as she stopped crying. Sometimes being numb to trauma is the only way to cope. The sadness that had bloomed in Ben’s heart took a sharp turn into anger as he saw where this was going.

“He started touching me. Just subtle ways, like a brush down my arm, or a graze of my thighs. It escalated after that. He told me if I told anyone that he would kill me.” Rey recounted the memories, spitting them out as if they were acid. “He never truly raped me, but there was a lot of assault and perversion there.” 

“Rey, baby, I’m so sorry.” Pain laced through Ben’s heart as he imagined teenager Rey being exploited and taken advantage of. 

“It’s okay. It was a while ago. In fact, the day I turned eighteen, I left. I had secretly been applying for colleges and scholarships, so once I got this amazing offer. I left. I left as fast as I could. I haven’t seen him since.” Her voice shook as her story concluded. 

The anger that had been surging through his body wilted as he saw the vulnerability in her face. Rey,  _ his Rey _ , didn’t deserve a single thing that she was forced to endure. His heart felt as if it was breaking, seeing her usual carefree, lovely attitude dampened by her traumatic past. 

Ben stood up and grabbed her face in his hands, forcing her to meet his eyes. After a few moments of intimate eye contact, he kissed her nose, then her forehead. His mouth trailed to her ear as he whispered a sentiment.

“Darling, you’re not alone. Not anymore.” Rey, almost inaudibly, gasped at his endearing, comforting words. No one had ever professed that to her. That was all she wanted, to BE wanted. More tears welled up in her eyes as she nodded against his hands cupping her face.

“Neither are you.” Her shaky voice fluttered out the words, and his embrace shifted from her hands to her whole body. His warm, big arms wrapped around her waist as he pulled her onto his lap. 

One might think it was a sexual gesture, but not at the moment. This embrace meant something, it went past simple physical attraction. The word flashed in Rey’s head, but she pushed it away. She didn’t need to ruin the moment with another huge revelation. 

After who knows how long, Ben murmured a question into her hair. 

“Do you want to go to bed?” Rey’s body slumped with exhaustion as she realized how utterly tired she was. She pulled away to sneak a glance at his face.

“Yeah, I didn’t even realize how tired I was. I guess hashing out old trauma makes a girl tired.” The joke fell flat in the aftermath of the intense conversation. Ben smiled and unfolded himself from her. They both got up and ready for bed. 

They showered together, brushed their teeth together, and climbed into bed. As Ben wrapped his arms around Rey’s waist, a flash of a potential future flew through her mind. A future full of love, honesty, respect, and not being alone. 

Rey smiled as she drifted off to sleep thinking of her and Ben growing old together. 

~~~~

It was Christmas Eve. Rey sat in her apartment, waiting for the first moment she could go to Ben’s without seeming totally clingy. Rose had flown out to see her family a week prior, so Rey had been left to her own devices. 

Christmas had always been a mediocre, nostalgic holiday for her. Since she never had any family to celebrate with, she never celebrated. When she was young, she often dreamed of her parents returning on Christmas Eve to take her back, to tell her they made a mistake and that they still loved her.

That never happened. 

By the time she was 10, she stopped imagining. It hurt too much. 

But now, she had something to celebrate. Something to look forward to. 

Even if she was terrified and insanely apprehensive to become attached to someone again. 

Shaking off her apprehension, Rey decided to head to Ben’s. She did not want to be late. 

She checked herself in the mirror before she shut the door. 

Ben said to dress very casual because it would just be her and Ben. After three hours of debating, she decided to wear black legging with a crocheted red sweater; silver earrings in the shape of an ornament donned her ears. They were a little silly, but Rey thought they communicated her cheer well. 

The earrings weren’t the only that communicated her cheer; a smile had appeared on Rey’s face the last time she left Ben’s apartment, and it hadn’t left her since. 

~~~

Ben heard the doorbell ring and sighed. He took the pie out of the oven and set it onto the kitchen counter. His eyes checked the table to make sure he had made everything. This was Rey’s first real Christmas, and he wanted to make sure everything was perfect.

Walking to the door, he took off his oven mitts and opened the door. Rey was standing at the door with that beautiful smile of hers that Ben couldn’t get enough of. 

She was perfect. From her dress to her earrings to her hairstyles (which was an unusual three bun style), he loved her. He was going to tell her tonight. He couldn’t keep it in any longer. 

“Hi.” Rey said, stepping into his apartment. She shivered and took off her coat. Ben hurriedly went behind her and took it from her, hanging it onto the rack beside her. She whispered a quiet thanks. 

“Rey, remember our rule?” He held his hand out, and she placed her phone into his hands. They had made this rule a few weeks ago. They agreed that on Christmas Eve and Day, no cell phones would be used. No distractions. Just each other. Ben deposited both of their phones into a cabinet in the kitchen, and turned around. 

“Merry Christmas Eve, Rey.” Ben brought her into a hug and kissed her. A soft gasp left her lips as they deepened the kiss. Before anything could escalate, Ben reluctantly pulled away. A pout appeared on Rey’s face as she responded.

“Merry Christmas Eve, Ben.” 

They continued the night with a dinner that consisted of a small honey ham, mashed potatoes and gravy, and pumpkin pie to finish it off. Ben wanted to make Rey’s first Christmas as traditional as possible, seeing as she doesn’t even know what that is like. 

After dinner, they headed to the couch to watch stupid Christmas movies. Rey relaxed into Ben’s hold as they laughed over silly romantic pick-up lines. 

“Look, Ben. If someone told me ‘Are you a jingle bell? Cause I think you’ll go all the way,’ I would not be flattered!” Rey laughed as she defended herself. THey were watching a Hallmark movie, something Ben considered a staple to Christmas. 

“Okay, let me tell you why you’re wrong,” Ben started and held up a hand as Rey tried to interject, “One,, I’d be extremely flattered if something said that to me. Second, it's incredibly clever.” They both laughed at the clear sarcasm.

“For an english professor, I’d expect better from you, mister.” Rey poked a finger in the middle of his chest, condemning him to his terrible pick up lines. 

“Well, I would say I’m only picky about literature. Anything that makes me laugh is quality to me.” Ben kissed her forehead as she laughed. 

“Me too. Except the literature thing, reading is not my favorite.” REy admitted. Ben’s eyebrows rose in surprise. 

“Are you serious?” Rey nodded, and he continued his assault. “You’re so intelligent. I never would have pegged you for anything other than a reader.” 

“Well, when I was young, I didn’t really have a lot of resources to read. The closest library was about five miles, so I couldn’t walk to get a book. And if I wasn’t doing some type of chore, I was passed out exhausted.” Rey reminisced on the subject with wistful eyes, and Ben cleared his throat. 

“Rey, you don’t have to say anything else. I understand.” He gently said the words, not wanting her to confuse his encouragement with control. Rey shook her head as if she was clearing the memories. 

“You’re right. I don’t need to dwell on that. I’m happy and well now, anyways.” Ben stroked her hair as they directed their attention back to the cheesy movie. They sat in silence for a few minutes until the credits rolled. Rey turned around and brushed a hand through his hair. 

“Can I give you your present now? I’m kind of nervous about it.” Rey asked, not looking him in the eye. Ben noticed the odd behavior and touched her face to spur eye contact.

“Rey, whatever anxiety you’re feeling, you can tell me.” He watched as Rey took a breath.

“I’m scared you won’t like your present.” Ben scoffed at the silly worry. 

“Rey, you could literally bring me a rock, and I would put it in a glass display case. I will love anything that comes from you.” He looked her in the eye and saw reassurance fill her gaze. She nodded and removed herself from his grasp. “But, can i give you your present first, please?”

“Yes! I’d rather that. I honestly had a lot of trouble getting your present because I had NO idea what to get you. Nothing seemed right, to be honest.” Rey admitted as she picked up the small box she had sat under the tree. 

“Me too. I don’t know what it was, but nothing seemed right, either.” Relief flooded her gaze as she handed him the box. He picked up the small box that her gift was in and gave it to her. Anxiety filled his stomach, because what if she hated it?

As Rey fiddled with the box, he gave her a nod to signify she could open it. 

She lifted the lid and smiled. Her hands gingerly picked up the gift. It was a silver necklace with an “R” engraved. It wasn’t a silly necklace that you would find at Target or Walmart. Rey knew it must have cost a fortune, but in that moment she didn’t care. Upon noticing Ben’s nervous glance, she reassured him.

“Ben, this is beautiful.” At his insecure gaze, she continued her praise. “Ben, I’m serious. I love it. It’s so me. Will you help me put it on?”

“Of course.” Ben took the necklace from her hands and draped it around her neck, then fastened it. It hung perfectly. She turned around to give him a kiss. 

“I’m never taking it off.” She smiled as she handed Ben his gift.

“I’m glad, darling.” He took the box from her and gave her a questioning look. 

“Go ahead and open it. But do not make fun of me. I am a terrible present buyer.” Rey watched as he took the bow off of the box. 

As Ben’s hands gingerly took the top of the box off, his eyes peaked into it curiously. 

Inside was a small painting. It depicted teo people, obviously lovers, holding hands as their bodies were intertwined in an embrace. The painting was far from realism; there were bright splashes of color that created the image. 

A lump formed in Ben’s throat as he stared at the gift. It was so,  _ intimate _ . No one had ever took the thought or care to do anything like this. Rey cleared her throat.

“I know you might not be able to tell what it is, but I thought it would be a nice addition.” Rey muttered, eyes glancing away. Ben’s head snapped up in disbelief that Rey might think he didn’t absolutely love it. 

“Rey, did you commission someone to paint this?” Ben quietly asked. Rey nodded, confusion lacing her eyes. 

“Yes. My friend, Poe, is an art major.” Tears welled in Ben’s eyes. 

“Rey, this is-“

“You don’t like it.” Rey said, dejection in her voice. “I’m sorry. I tried really hard to find somethi-“ She was cut off by a kiss from Ben. A sigh left both of their mouths at the touch. Ben gripped her arms and looked her in the eye.

“Rey, I love it.”

“You do?”

“Yes. This is, absolutely beautiful. Nothing can compare to this beautiful, carefully crafted gift. Rey, I have to tell you something.” Ben gestured between the two of them. 

“What is it?” Concern sprang into her voice. She focused all her attention on his voice and his words.

“I love you.” Rey gasped as Ben expressed himself. She blinked and launched into his lap; her head fit into the space between his should and neck. After a few moments, she pulled back.

“I love you, too. Ben, I think I always have.” Her voice shook at her confession. A smile appeared on Ben’s face as he made their lips meet once again. 

This kiss was different. It wasn’t lustful. It wasn’t comforting. It wasn’t even passionate. 

It was intimate. It was the kiss you dreamed about in your sleep. The kiss that was only talked about in story books. It was pure bliss and connectedness. It felt as though everything had locked into place. They felt wanted. Loved. 

The rest of their night consisted of confident touches, loving embraces, and absolute relaxation. 

As Rey laid her head on Ben’s chest after their shower, she felt at peace. Ben felt the same.

They drifted to sleep, breathing and living in sync. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed!! Make sure to leave kudos and comments! 
> 
> I also made a twitter! You can find it here:   
> https://mobile.twitter.com/Lidiamallow

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoy! I honestly am a person who has no patience, and i have tried to write longer stories. But i’ve found quite the inspiration on AO3 that literature doesn’t have to be long works. It can be short and sweet. That’s what i’m hoping for!


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